Beginner dating guide
What texting does is give you the opportunity to get straight to the point, remain emotionless and, more importantly, get to the end of the dumping without any interruptions – like tears, or screaming, or a wine glass in your face. Those who think texting is callous miss the point entirely – they probably deserve to be dumped. You’re sparing them the humiliation of a very public break-up. – The last time you saw each other was an utter shambles and you’re both too ashamed to admit how dreadful it was. Would you be devastated if you got a Dear John text from them right now? Some examples to avoid: “I’m shagging someone else.” “You’re ditched.” “The sex was totes abysmoid. They can put any spin on it they like: “Can you believe the total BASTARD ended it by text? When a ditching text is inappropriate: – You’re about to jet off on a romantic holiday together.
It’s your call, but bear in mind how emotionally charged the response will be.
So, either send a text (see, even the heartless SMS has a role to play here) to see what they’re up to, or give them a short call, before inventing some distraction which means you’ll have to phone back later. No need to stress them out unnecessarily before you end it. While it’s you who’s ruining everything and casting them back out into the kingdom of the singles, by introducing a ‘we’, you are giving the dumpee the chance to consider any doubts they have had about you themself.
You do, of course, run the risk of spooking them if you act distracted or sound ready to deploy your weapons of mass rejection right here and now. If you can, lead them to think it’s the right decision – one that may have even been reached mutually were the discussion to go on much longer.
While Grammer perhaps should have really thought that one over a bit longer, there’s a lot to be said for euthanising your relationship via text. I’m better off without him.” If you’re seen as a bit of a coward, so be it; if you’re merely ending a fling, there isn’t much to be gained by drawing out the whole process over a miserable drink in a pub, where everyone else is having a good time.
For relatively short flings, it is perfectly acceptable – as long as you get the language right. A text also helps the dumpee to react however they want, privately: nobody wants to get angry or cry in front of someone they’ve had sex with only two or three times.